Once in Motion
by TaciteMuse
Summary: The glimpses of what could be... and what is. [SJ]
1. Stand

**Title: **Stand

**Rating: **G

**Summary: **When she looked for ground to stand on, she found something else entirely.

Author's Note: _Once in Motion_ is a ficlet collection dedicated to my OTP: Sam & Jack. Since watching the first episode, I have been an avid fan of the pairing, and it was only a matter of time before I started to write about it. So welcome; I hope you enjoy.

Well, doesn't the image of a boat instead of solid ground seem to fit the SJ pairing perfectly?

----

So she stumbles in her words and looks desperately for ground to stand on.  
Only there is none-  
She's drowning.

For all her years of training, her experiences and her skills, she cannot swim.  
She flounders, water stinging her eyes, sliding down her throat, choking her.

And then he is there.

One hand outstretched-  
To help her.

She meets his eyes as another wave swamps her.

The boat he's in is so frail, so easily torn apart by forces they can't control-  
And she could-  
Should-  
Turn and try to swim to shore herself.

But the shore is far away-  
(Rip tides have dragged her out)  
And all the while she's been fighting them, trying to deny they existed.

So here he is, waiting.

They always thought she was the one who waited.  
'They' were wrong,  
Because she went on with her life and he waited for her.

It's a chance, but she takes those every time she walks out her door.  
It's a promise that no matter what, he'll be there.  
It is…

Salvation.

She reaches out, and he takes her hand, and pulls her up.

"Carter?" Her eyes flick up to his. She seems, in that instant when her heart nearly ran out on her, to… have found firm ground to stand on.

Or maybe it's a gently rocking boat.

"Sorry, sir." She turns to leave, papers under one arm. His hand touches her shoulder and he meets her curious gaze.

"Don't be." And she grins and he lets her go…

But she doesn't go far.

She never has.


	2. His

**Title:** His

**Rating: **G

**Summary:** She was _his_, and there was never any question about it.

I guess this could be in S5, or somewhere around there. And this was a strange piece, even for me.

**---- **

She's always been his. They've always known it. Everyone who has ever seen them has known it on that subconscious level that senses these kinds of things. She would, forever and always, be _his_.

Maybe not in body. They would never be able to go beyond the simple touches and talks, the hinted double meanings of otherwise normal conversation and the link between their eyes. It was one of the reasons he let her spill the technobabble on him- and when someone else was there, they'd miss the intricate messages tagged underneath the seemingly insane chatter spewing from the blonde's mouth, or the helpless one-word inserts he managed to get in.

But in mind? She was one of the smartest people he knew. Carter, however, firmly believed (after having suspected for over three years) that he wasn't as stupid as he pretended to be. He never let her have the satisfaction of knowing she was right. And yes, their morals and ethics sometimes differed, and she did resent some of the decisions he'd forced on her during off-world, and he was irritated when she didn't always _follow_ those decisions, but she understood, and he accepted.

And what about heart? Well… if one had to ask, they were more of an idiot than anyone figured.

So she was his; he coveted her, went into possessive fits over her, killed for her. But she wasn't some delicate thing to be held in a glass jar, and he had to let her find her own way.

But she was _his_.

They were never quite sure if he was hers, or if that simple statement had merged both of them together, so it was hard to distinguish one from the other.


	3. Silver

**Title:** Silver

**Rating: **G

**Summary:** To dye or not to dye?

Yes, this is a conversation I always thought they should have.

**---- **

She leaned around the doorframe, peeking inside his office. He sat with his back to her, but that didn't mean he didn't know she was there. The chief of some primitive tribe had deferred to him today, calling him 'Gray Hair' reverently. Face morose, Jack let out a tiny breath.

"I'm getting _old_. It's the one thing I'd never thought to be. Think I should dye it?" Sam didn't respond and he figured she had already left.

"Silver makes you look distinguished." Her breath warmed his ear as she unbent and walked through another door. He sat, unmoving, for a moment, then let a half smile steal across his face.

"Distinguished, huh?"


	4. Anger

**Title:** Anger

**Rating: **PG

**Summary: **He thought he always had to be the one to walk away. Well damn it, she wasn't going to let him this time.

Let's all just close our eyes and pretend that I've just conviently gotten rid of Pete, m'kay? Good. (Set in Season 7.)

**---- **

He hesitated, then started to turn and walk away.

"Oh- well, see ya."

Her eyes snapped with anger.

"You bastard." Jack halted, shifting to look back at her over his shoulder. She felt her hands clench as she stared at him.

"You want to be the gentleman, thinking that I had just broken my heart and that you couldn't make a move? That I was so frail right now that you didn't dare try to reach me? I'm not that _breakable_, Colonel Jack O'Neill." His expression didn't change as she snarled.

"My heart isn't yours to hurt because I haven't given it to you!"

The silence lingered between them until he turned around, moving without a sound towards her. And the look in his eyes as he leaned slowly towards her… frightened her.

This wasn't Jack the leader, or Jack the asshole, or Jack the protector- this was Jack the _man_, the Black Ops who had more scars on his heart than anyone ever should.

This was why he hadn't ever tried- because if she loved him, she'd have to take some (most) of those scars on her own heart. If she didn't, she wouldn't be able to bear loving him, because he'd always be out of reach.

"And you think you can handle this?" His voice was soft, threatening, filled with a sharp edge of anger, and twisted with lust. She stopped the shiver running down her spine and met those smoldering eyes dead on.

Closer. The tendrils of hate and painful aching wrapped around her, held her in place, teased her with the thought of escape. And she could, if she wanted to.

But she didn't.

"You jerk." She whispered savagely. He always thought he had to be the one to turn away and save them- and he didn't.

So she grabbed fistfuls of his BDU and dragged him to her, and in no uncertain terms showed him exactly how she felt.


	5. Touch

**Title:** Touch

**Rating:** G

**Summary: **They needed that contact, that reassurance that they were still alive.

**Season:** Six; after Paradise Lost

I wrote this in present-ish tense. And it was hard to do, I can tell you that.

**---- **

They've stumbled across a new culture, as usual. There's been greetings and exchanges of pleasantries and polite invitations to stay- for once not suggested when the native is pointing the business end of a weapon at them. So they accept and start the hike back to wherever it is these people live, while Daniel talks animatedly, Teal'c watches silently, and Jack and Sam exchange discreet glances.

It's quiet enough, for a strange planet. The locals are friendly enough to generously allow them into the city, fortified by high walls of clay. Inside they find a surprise- there aren't actually buildings, per se, but rather arrangements of cloth and rope that serve to indicate separate or common living areas. The night's getting colder, so they crouch around the fire and listen to the folklore of these nice enough guys.

And then the party ends, and before they can volunteer to set up camp outside the city, their gracious hosts give them accommodations for their stay- and have already shuffled out where everyone's sleeping.

Either Daniel and Teal'c have dropped a word in with them, or the locals are astute enough to notice the vibrating tension that exists between the other two. One way or another, Jack and Sam end up housed in one of the tent-like arrangements together.

Amazingly enough, the small space is kept warm by the foreign material. The two bid goodnight to a sleepy Daniel and a thoughtful Teal'c and slip inside, laying out their 'mummy sacks', as the team is wont to call them, and watching the dying fire cast patterns on the thin cloth.

Their nerd had explained to them earlier how the natives dealt with the cramped space: if something went on behind closed cloth, the others act as if it never happened.

And what they want could never happen.

But just once, desperate for the comfort that they need after being apart for so long, they are tempted to give in to the tantalizing dreams.

And yet some part of them insists that they realize what could happen, what could go horribly wrong if they go too far.

So it's only natural, then, that they fall asleep close together, her fingers interlocked with his- for they never quite overstep that boundary, but find middle ground easily. 


	6. Some Day

**Title: **Some Day

**Rating: **G

**Season: **9

**Summary: **They both know it.

----

There will be a day when I don't come back, she whispered.

He nodded.

I know.

What will you do when they tell you that I'm gone? She asked.

He didn't answer for a long time.

I think… I'd remember.

Remember what?

You.

_Most people say when someone dies, they'll never forget that sound._

_The flat lining of the heart monitor-  
Or the soft, last breath._

_I think that's stupid._

_If that's the one thing they never forget, they're fools. What they had, what they shared with the one now gone, was apparently worthless._

_Because I know, should you ever die, I would remember._

_But it wouldn't be the blood or the pain and anguish of seeing you slip away.  
That's... just a sign that you've finally left._

_No, I wouldn't swear that that would be the last thing I'd ever forget._

_I'd __remember._

_The first time we met._

_Pushing you into the water and grinning as you spluttered and splashed, instantly indignant._

_Teasing you about your food staple- because c'mon, who eats _**_blue jello?_**

_Saving your skin more than once- hell, more than we could count using one of those computer thingamajiggies._

_Being saved by you in turn._

_Arguing- because, yes, we weren't the perfect team._

_Resisting that damning urge to pick you up and go AWOL._

_Being reminded that, in deed, women can throw just as good of a punch as men._

_Toasting (beer in one hand) to our success._

_Mourning silently when someone died._

_Those inevitable, unavoidable, impossible touches that were just enough to keep us alive and sane._

If I ever lost you…

(Oh God I hope I never will)

… then I'd remember.


	7. Discovery

**Title: **Discovery

**Rating: **G

**Summary: **_S. C. O. Those weren't her initals..._ Their secret is found out- but they're already gone.

----

They only found out when they were gone.

A secret so well kept, so diligently protected that even those closest to the two of them had no idea of it's existence…

Something that only came to light when Death had come and laid claim to both of them…

They had only found out when it was too late.

.o.O.o.

_Daniel dove across the stretch of open ground, landing behind the secure cover of another crumbling wall. _

_"Sam! __SAM__!" _

_The woman lying on the ground didn't respond- couldn't respond. _

_"Don't you die on me, Sam!" He yelled, managing to weave between staff blasts to reach her motionless form. With Jack dead, they couldn't afford to lose her. Not now. Not ever. _

_They shouldn't have lost Jack either. _

_He knew as soon as he touched her that she was already gone. Biting back the tears, Daniel slipped her dog tags out from around her neck and began to crawl back towards Teal'c. They had no more time to lose. _

.o.O.o.

_General Hammond stared at the pair of dog tags put in front of him, lips a tight line. _

_The others had left, filing out to go console the rest of those who had been affected by this dual loss. _

_Slowly, his fingers threaded through the chains, lifting them up to touch them gently. Then he paused and took a closer look at Sam's. _

_S. C. O. _

_Those weren't her initials. _

_Quickly he flipped the thin pieces of metal over and read the engraving: _

_Samantha Carter O'Neill._

.o.O.o._  
_

They had only found out when they were gone- or maybe they had always known.


	8. First Encounter

**Title: **First Encounter  
**Rating: **G  
**Summary: **Mission 101: The body tackle is to be used only in times when the endangered person is not aware of the danger...

Author's Note: This was written partially in 'stream-of-consciousness', and partially not. So it may sound off, but I liked it this way.

----

It was overly cliché, and definitely on the borderline of 'friendly'. But she had slammed into him, pushing her CO to the ground as the startled herd-animals bolted through the space where he had been, and this inevitably ended up with her warm body pressed against his (never mind their field BDUs). 

She smelled like apples and cinnamon and he felt himself falling in love.

"Sorry, sir." She said, pushing herself up, and he regretted that she had done that. But she was grinning at him, beautiful and confident and unabashed, and he had a feeling that his life – and his heart – would need saving again in the near future.

"No problem, Captain. Anytime…"


	9. Sharing Secrets

**Title: **Sharing Secrets  
**Rating: **G  
**Summary: **It's something between the two of them; something that makes secrets... happen.

----

"So my secret's safe with you," he says, throwing a mock salute. She grins. 

"Yes sir."

The only thing is, it isn't. One day she'll be tempted to betray it, to give it away and ease the awful burden resting on her too-slender shoulders. She can take saving the world, but keeping this was impossible.

Two can keep a secret if one is dead, and the problem was that she isn't planning on dying any time soon.

And hopefully he isn't either.

So she's trying to keep his secret, and prays that she never buckles under the weight.

Imagine how surprised she is when she finds out that sharing that secret with him actually helped to _lift _the pressure off her.


	10. Watchful

**Title: **Watchful  
**Rating:** G  
**Relationship:** Established  
**Summary:** A simple moment, late at night, as the snow falls outside.

Author's Note: Song is 'Still, Still, Still'. Written for the lj challengecommunity sj100, which, unfortunately, seems to have only an active member or two. But when did that ever stop a 'shipper or, for that fact, the ShipMuses?

----**  
**

Wrapped up in the blankets, she stared out the frosty window into the darkness, caught between wakefulness and slumber.

The mattress shifted as Jack rolled over, opening one eye to peer sleepily at her.

"You still awake?"

She nodded, watching the snow fall.

It was silent for a moment; and then he slid his arms around her, kissing her bare shoulder gently.

"Still, still, still; one can hear the falling snow. Sleep, sleep, sleep; close your eyes, let sleep surround you. Dream, dream, dream…"

Drowsy, she snuggled into his embrace, listening to his soft lullaby as the world turned white.


	11. Always

**Title:** Always  
**Rating: **PG for language  
**Relationship:** Tentative  
**Summary:** No, she didn't enjoy these moments, when his life could be hanging in the balance... Of course not.

----

It was always the jealous bitch. Really, how many planets had they gone to? And every single damn one had had someone exactly like the woman staring at her, face hungry and predatory sharp.

Sam grinned, pulling Jack's unresisting body towards her and obviously savoring his closeness. Her eyes glinted, wicked, mischievous and possessive.

The alien woman took an angry breath and visibly controlled herself, flouncing off in the opposite direction. But the Major didn't miss the backwards glance and unspoken threat that were shot her way.

"You owe me another one, Jack." She murmured once it was safe again. Then, taking stock of his numerous injuries, Sam was glad that she had chosen the pose that had a hand artistically positioned to allow her to keep his head aligned with his spine. Nothing appeared to be broken, but they wouldn't know for sure until they got back to the SGC.

Daniel and Teal'c answered her hasty radio call, coming to help her carry their leader's unconscious body back to the Stargate.

And traveling in the light of the binary moons, they walked in silence… for a while.

"You seemed to enjoy that a little too much, Sam."

"Shut up."


	12. Tried Or True

**Title:** Tried Or True  
**Rating:** G  
**Summary:** One way or the other, they will break and shatter 'them' beyond repair.

Author's Note: Has to be first SJ piece I wrote, in a collection with several others (which will be posted sooner or later). Not so sure how it measures up to my current standards...

----

The chatter of the guests escapes the stain-glass doors, mingling with the overly cheerful sounds of birds and the hum of distant cars.

It does not, however, fail to appropriately swerve around the pair standing off to the side of the little building.

He doesn't appear to search for the words; rather, they come freely. It's just trying to pick out what to say that holds his tongue captive.

She's lost in the brown eyes; completely and utterly losing herself in the reflections thrown back at her. Memory rarely needs to capture a person in such a way, but, with how busy she's been, it's not surprising that the spell is so strong now.

"Sam." Her name is rough, hardly ever spoken by that soft voice. The woman standing in front of him almost flinches, as though the word has forcefully struck her. There is pain in his eyes. Regret lurked, she was sure, just behind that show of courtesy.

"Jack." It, too, sounds seldom used. He looks away from her, up, towards the place where her future waits; anywhere but her until she takes a half choked breath.

"We really blew it, didn't we Sir?" She's fighting not to cry. Finally the Colonel looks back, lips pressing together as 'what might have been' lingered subtly in their minds.

"Yes Carter, I think we did." But what, his eyes ask, could we manage to screw up more?

The pair can't deny it. That connection between the two of them will never fade; after all this time it still hasn't. But they have turned to others now, and that special bond has long been untouched.

And he almost says the words. Almost leans forward and kisses her as she looks at him, helplessly lost in the sea of emotion. Almost.

But instead he sighs, accepting the apparently inevitable even as her gray-blue eyes beg him to, just this once, speak those feelings and save her from this fate.

"They're waiting for you Carter." Reality slips back in. Sam turns her head, fighting a losing battle with her better sense.

"Yes Sir."

"The best of luck to both of you."

She turns and walks away.

He watches, silent.

...and they break the spell themselves...


	13. Rose Day

**Title: **Rose Day  
**Rating: **G  
**Summary: **He asks a question, and gets an answer he doesn't (quite) expect.

Author's Note: Everyone seems to review when there's an especially angst-y chapter, and yet be very upset with me. I considered posting a whole mess of angst that I have backlogged on my hard drive, but decided to intermix it with some pieces that won't get me killed.

Not to say that I'm not going to post those anyway. They'll just come a bit later now. ;)

----

"We should have a parade." Cam peered down the empty beer bottle. Sam was, strangely, shopping the exact weekend that Jack happened to be visiting, so he was relaxing with them instead.

"Why?" Daniel asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"We've saved the world, what, seven times?"

"Nine." Teal'c corrected him.

"Right."

"When?"

Cam considered the General's question.

"July 27th. That's the day the SGC started, wasn't it?" Watching the other three (and Jack in particular) smile smugly, he had a sudden suspicion about what Carter was shopping for. "What?"

"No can do. But, Cam, how would you feel about being a groomsman?"


	14. Unnatural

**Title:** Unnatural  
** Rating:** G  
** Relationship:** Unacknowledged  
** Summary:** Does he know she's there, waiting for him to return?

Author's Note: My motto for future pieces: no apologizing for the angst! (You have been warned... although they all won't be tearjerkers.)

**----**

It was the one sound that you always heard in hospitals; the one repetitive noise that said, 'Your heart still works… for now.' The monitor beeped slowly away as she sat on an empty bed, watching him with traces of worry in her eyes.

He hadn't woken up since they had 'gated back to Earth; Doctor Frasier kept telling them that everything was fine, but even she was looking concerned. Five days, and he hadn't moved…

Normally she was the one who got injured. And that was fine; she had learned to deal with the pain. If it wasn't her, it was accident-prone Daniel who hurt himself the most- but either way, Jack just wasn't the kind of man to take a wound and lay down for five days.

He should have been up and awake, trying to get Frasier to let him out of the Infirmary early. Or failing in his attempts to convince Teal'c that he was fine, and, no, he didn't need help getting up off the floor. Or arguing with General Hammond to let them have another mission.

But Colonel O'Neill wasn't doing any of these things.

Daniel had wondered if the sleeping man was trapped in a alien 'dream'. Teal'c had suggested he might be involved in some form of communication with inhabitants of K0T-884. Either way, SG-1 couldn't remember any reason why their leader had collapsed like this.

Janet paused beside the empty bed, looking at Carter with understanding eyes.

"I know it's hard, Sam, but you need to get some rest yourself. You know he'll be annoyed if he wakes up and SG-1 can't go out because _you're _in the Infirmary." The blonde nodded, knowing her friend was right. But when the Doctor walked away, she didn't leave. There was no one else down here, and she didn't want him waking up to silence.

She knew that he would have done the same for her.


	15. For Future Reference

**Title:** For Future Reference  
**Rating:** G  
**Prompt**: Episode title from B5 **  
Relationship:** Season One  
**Summary:** He has eight years to go, but he doesn't know it then. 

----

Watching Captain Carter begin to look for signs of life on P8R-937, O'Neill felt a man's appreciation for her good looks and fighting skills; she was _genius_ smart, too.

With his luck, though, she was under his command, and that meant 'all hands off'. Some of his buddies in the Air Force had ignored the regs and gotten away with it, but Jack wasn't planning on going down that path.

Nah, he'd wait. The other path, well, there all honor lies- laid- lay-

…forget it.

Maybe after the whole alien thing was cleared up, he'd ask her out to dinner.


	16. Breathe

**Title:** Breathe  
** Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** A universe, a fate, a _heart _hung on her choice.

----**  
**

It was like some kind of macabre fairytale, Sam thought as her breath froze in the air. She could feel them, the Dre'noc, all around. Watching. This was their entertainment; this was their pleasure: watching her dilemma.

Some kind of twisted, sick fairytale.

And yet, here he was, pale, still, and deathly, deathly silent. The Major knew what could save him- all it would take was a kiss to reactivate the machinery connected to the cryo chamber, and he would wake.

But what delighted the Dre'noc, what kept her from rousing her commander, was the knowledge that that kiss was poisoned.

Yes, they had promised that he would walk away alive if she woke him.

They had never said anything about her.

So which one? Whispered the ghouls all around her. Which one would live?

**Never leave a man behind.**

What it came down to was who was worth more, could give more to the SGC. She- she had the brains, the 'know how' to do whatever was needed, an open mind that absorbed information readily. He- he had the heart.

She knew she couldn't walk away.

_"Carter, you know they need you more than me." _Was that her imagination? Surely it had to be, to torture her so. _"So get back to them, before they lock out our code."_

And yet she couldn't move.

_"Sam. Please."_

Samantha Carter hesitated… and then closed her eyes.

Just enough poison coated her lips; just enough that it would not kill her; just enough for Janet to find an antidote; just enough to chill her heart into stasis with him.

One hand took off the tiny shield generator and placed it on his chest- now they could not reach him, murder him, take him away.

"_Touch him and I will kill you_." And then steps, through the fog, to the DHD. Through the wormhole, down the ramp, only to stop and meet their eyes with tears in hers.

**Never leave a man behind.**

And she wouldn't.


End file.
